I was in my late teens in 1964 when "A Hard Day's Night" came out. It was cute, mindless entertainment, but I learned something from it. I now know what a Mixer is...or should I say, WHO a Mixer is.
The late, great character actor, Wilfrid Brambel, an Irish gem, had the part of Paul McCartney's grandfather. The loose and largely innocuous plot has Grandpa doing all he can to make money off his grandson's success and keep a turmoil going, especially with poor Ringo. Other people in the film would note that he was "a very clean old man" to which Paul would reply, "yes, but he is a bit of a Mixer."
It dawned on me that I had known and did know quite a few Mixers...people who, for reasons of their own, just had to keep the pot stirred just for the sake of the stirring. Whether it is the entertainment value of watching others react or for something more concrete, the Mixer gets something out of the mess she sets in motion. The best response to a Mixer is to do what Paul, John and George did with Paul's pretend grandfather. They ignored him.
As a member of SMAAC, I am going to say this one more time. We do not assume or claim to be the one voice for all mothers of adoption loss. That is an arrogance best left to others. We are the voice of those who have come out of the fog into which the deciders of our era led us, who see the injustice and who think along the same lines. While we may be of different political and religious beliefs, we pretty much see the injustice of our experiences the same way.
The Mixers will try to take what we post at our site and on our individual blogs and twist it in order to cause a tempest in a teapot. If you want to know what SMAAC is about, it is better that you visit our website and ask a member. If you get your information from a Mixer, you can bet that it has been chopped, diced, covered and smothered so that the simple truths are twisted into an unrecognizable mess.
Remember, the Mixer knows exactly what she is doing. She wants to use our opinion pieces on our blogs as a forum for arguments. She wants to twist all that she can in order to discredit one or all of us. She will trample on long-standing friendships and pit group against group. When called on it, she will give you the hairy eyeball, maybe work up a tear or two, and send you a three-page email on why she is right and you are wrong. The Mixer places a bug in the ear of whoever might be susceptible and insecure and sits back and watches the results.
Yes, the Mixer wants something, but it doesn't matter what she wants. What matters is what she will do to get it and whether or not she is allowed to get away with it. While I am not into dichotomous thinking, I know that if it quacks, waddles and has feathers, it is probably a duck. I am not going to conjecture that there might be a bit of swan in its makeup because that isn't possible. I only have one piece of advice for my friends in the movement that are working for what they deem to be right and important.
Beware the Mixer.
Yup! This says it.
I am not sure why anyone who has not profited from adoption in the past would be upset about what we are doing, but, so be it. If they are, then that is their problem, not ours. They can just learn to deal.
One thing is certain, though....we will not be sitting around campfires singing Kumbaya with people who consider us useless and why would they want us to? They consider us to be useless, and say that we are too few to make a difference, so we shouldn't be any concern to them at all.
I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
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